Maintaining Abstinence in Your Christian Courtship

Maintaining Abstinence in Your Christian Courtship

Practical advice for Christian couples on how to maintain abstinence and resist premarital sexual temptation during courtship.

In ancient times, sexual intercourse was considered taboo and was normally reserved for married couples. In fact, various religious rules regarding sexual purity can be found in the Holy Bible, the Quran, and the Torah. Today, however, this value has shifted significantly as modern culture has turned this sacred and intimate ritual into a casual encounter. The truth is that even devout Christians have a tough time avoiding premarital and casual sex. There are many reasons for this: some point to the media using sex as a marketing tool, others to the internet, which is filled with pornographic images, and some simply to a mysterious cultural shift. Nevertheless, if you are a Christian wanting to uphold the values of sexual abstinence stated in the Holy Bible, here are some things to keep in mind.

• Put God in the middle of your courtship. One way to ensure that your courtship maintains a sex-free decorum is by placing God at the center of it. Whether you are taking her out for dinner, watching a movie, or hanging out at home, if both of you acknowledge and make a point to be aware that God is present in your relationship, it will give you a reason to stay strong and not succumb to the temptations of the flesh.
• Start and end with prayer. As mentioned above, if both of you place God at the center of your courtship, you will be better equipped to weather any temptation that comes your way, especially regarding premarital sex. Of course, this is easier said than done. However, it can become much easier if you start every meeting or date with a prayer and part ways with another prayer. God will bless you with the strength to overcome any sexual temptation.
• Know that Jesus promised blessings to those who wait. When reading the Bible, particularly the teachings of Jesus, you will find that He addressed premarital fornication by offering a different perspective: anyone willing to wait for the right time will be richly blessed, while those who give in to the temptations of the flesh will have to deal with the real-life consequences of that sin. Now, you might argue that God forgives those who sin; however, that does not mean you should bank on that forgiveness and continue sinning intentionally just because you know He will forgive you later. Remember, Jesus states that you are still responsible for your own misgivings. He may forgive you, but you will still have to face the consequences. You may ask what these consequences are; one major consequence that many unwed couples face is premarital pregnancy.

Shield yourself from the hype. The media is one of the primary drivers that have made casual sex a staple of modern culture. With countless ads, movies, and TV shows treating sex as casually as eating a fast-food meal, it can be quite difficult to resist the pressure. Remember, the media is not the only source of pressure; you will also have to deal with peer pressure and the easy availability of pornography. To counter these psychological influences that seek to diminish your Christian values and turn them into fleeting carnal pleasure, you must return to the Bible and firmly decide that premarital and casual sex is simply incompatible with your beliefs.