Know if People Aren't Listening

Know if People Aren't Listening

Know if People Aren't Listening : Multi-thousand tips to make your life easier.

People may laugh at those clever cell phone commercials in which the person continues to ask, "Can you hear me now?" But it's no laughing matter when people aren't listening to you, whether you are addressing a large audience or having an intimate conversation with just one other person.

With so many commercial messages and interruptions bombarding each of us daily, people may insist they are hearing the messages presented to them, but listening is an entirely different matter. True listening involves letting the other person speak and paying attention to what they say and how they say it before contemplating how to respond. How can you know if people aren't listening to what you are saying?

• Constant interruption is a warning sign that people aren't really listening. Rather than pay attention to what you are saying, they feel compelled to jump in at the first opportunity to tell you what they want you to hear. Often something that has been said by one person triggers an emotional response in the other, and rather than continue to pay attention and listen to the speaker's entire message, the respondent is already formulating a rebuttal or remark, totally engrossed in how they plan to answer the person they are listening to rather than really listening and then formulating a response.
• A person who jumps into the conversation to finish your thought or your sentence while you are speaking to them really isn't listening to what you are saying. Like the interrupter, this non-listener is already racing ahead to get to the end of the other person's conversation so that what they want to say can be heard. People whose minds race ahead and blurt out the anticipated finish to what someone else is saying run the risk of insulting or hurting the person who asked to be listened to.
• People whose eyes wander or dart around the room while you are talking to them really aren't listening to what you are saying. They may also give away their inattention by actively pursuing something else, such as rifling through papers or perusing a newspaper while you are talking, all the while giving you false reassurance that they are paying attention with an occasional "Yes," "ahem," or "OK."
• Yet other people totally disconnect from the conversation right from the start, not actually listening to a word you are saying because they are too busy rehearsing what they are going to say.

Good communication requires the skills to both speak clearly and listen with interest. The next time someone is listening to you, watch for the warning signs that they really aren't hearing you. The next time you are asked to listen to someone, do them the courtesy of really paying attention before you begin to formulate your response.