Learn how to establish clear boundaries, remain firm, and take necessary steps to stop an ex from contacting you so you can move on.
Breakups are never easy and can be downright painful. If you have an ex who refuses to give you space, moving on becomes even more difficult. It is important for both of you to have time apart to heal from the relationship.
If your ex is still contacting you, it may mean that he isn't over you or doesn't want to let go. Whatever his reasons may be, if you have decided to move on, you need to tell your ex to stop contacting you. Here is what you need to do:
- Do be clear. When you break up, you need to be definitive about it. You may not be able to explain your reasons in a way that is acceptable to him, but make it clear that you no longer wish to continue the relationship, regardless of any lingering feelings you may still have. You can say, “Please don't call or see me anymore.” It can be as simple as that. If you say, “I think we need some time apart,” it leaves things open to interpretation. For one thing, he may not agree. For another, the duration of time apart can be interpreted in various ways; he might think it means two to three days, whereas you mean “I never want to see or hear from you again.”
- Do be firm. If you show any sign of weakness or remain wishy-washy, he will keep trying to contact you.
- Do be consistent. If you allow him any leeway at all, he will keep pursuing you. Whenever he calls, cut the conversation short, remind him that you no longer want to talk, and hang up. If he persists in trying to communicate, you will need to reject him consistently for him to get the message.
- Don't be available. You may need to change your phone number, block his messages on your email account, and restrict his access to your social media profiles. If he does manage to reach you, state that you have to be somewhere and leave immediately. If he tries to contact you soon after or shows up at your home banging on your door, you may need to have building security block him. You might even need to change your locks or stay at a friend's house for a few days. Alternatively, you could have a friend stay over with you for a while. Alter your daily routine and avoid places where you are likely to “accidentally” run into him.
- Don't succumb to pity. Don't cave in. Remember that no breakup is easy, and you will only prolong the pain by trying to be “nice” to him. If you throw him a bone by answering a call or meeting him for dinner, you will only make the process harder.
- Do resort to legal action if necessary. If your ex is stalking you, you need to obtain a restraining order. If he has made threats or you fear for your safety, do whatever it takes to protect yourself.
Eventually, most people get the message, and your ex will soon be a thing of the past. Just be clear, remain firm, and move on so he can do the same.
How to Tell an Ex to Stop Contacting You
Learn how to establish clear boundaries, remain firm, and take necessary steps to stop an ex from contacting you so you can move on.
Breakups are never easy and can be downright painful. If you have an ex who refuses to give you space, moving on becomes even more difficult. It is important for both of you to have time apart to heal from the relationship.
If your ex is still contacting you, it may mean that he isn't over you or doesn't want to let go. Whatever his reasons may be, if you have decided to move on, you need to tell your ex to stop contacting you. Here is what you need to do:
- Do be clear. When you break up, you need to be definitive about it. You may not be able to explain your reasons in a way that is acceptable to him, but make it clear that you no longer wish to continue the relationship, regardless of any lingering feelings you may still have. You can say, “Please don't call or see me anymore.” It can be as simple as that. If you say, “I think we need some time apart,” it leaves things open to interpretation. For one thing, he may not agree. For another, the duration of time apart can be interpreted in various ways; he might think it means two to three days, whereas you mean “I never want to see or hear from you again.”
- Do be firm. If you show any sign of weakness or remain wishy-washy, he will keep trying to contact you.
- Do be consistent. If you allow him any leeway at all, he will keep pursuing you. Whenever he calls, cut the conversation short, remind him that you no longer want to talk, and hang up. If he persists in trying to communicate, you will need to reject him consistently for him to get the message.
- Don't be available. You may need to change your phone number, block his messages on your email account, and restrict his access to your social media profiles. If he does manage to reach you, state that you have to be somewhere and leave immediately. If he tries to contact you soon after or shows up at your home banging on your door, you may need to have building security block him. You might even need to change your locks or stay at a friend's house for a few days. Alternatively, you could have a friend stay over with you for a while. Alter your daily routine and avoid places where you are likely to “accidentally” run into him.
- Don't succumb to pity. Don't cave in. Remember that no breakup is easy, and you will only prolong the pain by trying to be “nice” to him. If you throw him a bone by answering a call or meeting him for dinner, you will only make the process harder.
- Do resort to legal action if necessary. If your ex is stalking you, you need to obtain a restraining order. If he has made threats or you fear for your safety, do whatever it takes to protect yourself.
Eventually, most people get the message, and your ex will soon be a thing of the past. Just be clear, remain firm, and move on so he can do the same.
How to Tell an Ex to Stop Contacting You
By Howtodotips
Learn how to establish clear boundaries, remain firm, and take necessary steps to stop an ex from contacting you so you can move on.