Identify the signs of a possessive relationship and learn the steps to safely end it, including setting boundaries, cutting ties, and seeking legal protection if stalking occurs.
Does your boyfriend keep you under lock and key? Does he get jealous when another guy so much as glances your way? Does he throw a fit when you don’t answer your cell phone? Does he behave aggressively when you’re around other guys? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it seems you have yourself a possessive boyfriend. Although the attention and possessiveness may feel flattering at first, eventually, you’ll end up feeling restrained, repressed, and constricted. You’re a grown woman, and you should be able to decide for yourself who you want to hang out with and where you want to go. If your boyfriend’s jealousy and possessiveness are becoming unbearable, it’s time to part ways.
- Remember that it’s not about you. The first thing you need to remember about jealous and possessive guys is that their jealousy stems from their own insecurity. It’s not because you dress provocatively or attract men like flies to a honey pot (and even if you do, so what?!). There’s nothing wrong with you other than having a possessive boyfriend. If you want to correct that, realize it’s time to dump your man.
- Be firm in your resolve. No one has any rights over you, so you need to set your possessive boyfriend straight. If he can’t respect your independence, strength, and power, you need to show him the door. It doesn’t matter how good-looking, rich, or what a catch he is. If you’re unhappy about his possessiveness and he’s not making strides to change, you need to move on. Avoid being swayed by his arguments, threats, tears, or any guilt he tries to lay on you. If in your heart and soul you know he’s not the right one, move on.
- Cut off all ties. Once you break up, stop seeing each other. Don’t accept his calls. You may even need to block his email address. Unfriend him on your Facebook account. You have no obligations toward him, and you don’t have to explain yourself or your whereabouts to him anymore, so sever all ties with him.
- Change your routine. If your possessive boyfriend goes into stalker mode, you need to shake things up a bit. Start buying your coffee elsewhere. Take a different bus or route to work. Hang out with friends after work instead of heading straight home.
- Establish a safe refuge. If you must, hide out at a friend’s house or have a girlfriend sleep over at your place during the first few days. You need to establish a good support system that can make you feel safe.
- Release yourself from the guilt. Stop thinking you owe him an explanation. Change the tapes you hear in your head about what you should or shouldn’t be. It’s not your fault he’s possessive, nor is it entirely your fault the relationship ended. Whatever your possessive ex does after the breakup is not your fault, and you aren’t accountable for his actions.
If your boyfriend starts stalking you, or you feel fear around his presence, you need to tell someone right away. Protect yourself! In some cases, jealous ex-boyfriends can do the unthinkable and cause you harm. If this is the case, get the police involved and have a restraining order issued against him.
Break Up with a Possessive Boyfriend
Identify the signs of a possessive relationship and learn the steps to safely end it, including setting boundaries, cutting ties, and seeking legal protection if stalking occurs.
Does your boyfriend keep you under lock and key? Does he get jealous when another guy so much as glances your way? Does he throw a fit when you don’t answer your cell phone? Does he behave aggressively when you’re around other guys? If you answered yes to any of these questions, it seems you have yourself a possessive boyfriend. Although the attention and possessiveness may feel flattering at first, eventually, you’ll end up feeling restrained, repressed, and constricted. You’re a grown woman, and you should be able to decide for yourself who you want to hang out with and where you want to go. If your boyfriend’s jealousy and possessiveness are becoming unbearable, it’s time to part ways.
- Remember that it’s not about you. The first thing you need to remember about jealous and possessive guys is that their jealousy stems from their own insecurity. It’s not because you dress provocatively or attract men like flies to a honey pot (and even if you do, so what?!). There’s nothing wrong with you other than having a possessive boyfriend. If you want to correct that, realize it’s time to dump your man.
- Be firm in your resolve. No one has any rights over you, so you need to set your possessive boyfriend straight. If he can’t respect your independence, strength, and power, you need to show him the door. It doesn’t matter how good-looking, rich, or what a catch he is. If you’re unhappy about his possessiveness and he’s not making strides to change, you need to move on. Avoid being swayed by his arguments, threats, tears, or any guilt he tries to lay on you. If in your heart and soul you know he’s not the right one, move on.
- Cut off all ties. Once you break up, stop seeing each other. Don’t accept his calls. You may even need to block his email address. Unfriend him on your Facebook account. You have no obligations toward him, and you don’t have to explain yourself or your whereabouts to him anymore, so sever all ties with him.
- Change your routine. If your possessive boyfriend goes into stalker mode, you need to shake things up a bit. Start buying your coffee elsewhere. Take a different bus or route to work. Hang out with friends after work instead of heading straight home.
- Establish a safe refuge. If you must, hide out at a friend’s house or have a girlfriend sleep over at your place during the first few days. You need to establish a good support system that can make you feel safe.
- Release yourself from the guilt. Stop thinking you owe him an explanation. Change the tapes you hear in your head about what you should or shouldn’t be. It’s not your fault he’s possessive, nor is it entirely your fault the relationship ended. Whatever your possessive ex does after the breakup is not your fault, and you aren’t accountable for his actions.
If your boyfriend starts stalking you, or you feel fear around his presence, you need to tell someone right away. Protect yourself! In some cases, jealous ex-boyfriends can do the unthinkable and cause you harm. If this is the case, get the police involved and have a restraining order issued against him.
Break Up with a Possessive Boyfriend
By Howtodotips
Identify the signs of a possessive relationship and learn the steps to safely end it, including setting boundaries, cutting ties, and seeking legal protection if stalking occurs.