Learn more about the term "shiksa" and discover how embracing Jewish traditions, customs, and culinary staples can help non-Jewish women integrate into Jewish culture with respect.
"Shiksa" is Yiddish slang for a woman who is not Jewish. It is always pejorative and is most often used in reference to a non-Jewish woman partnered with a Jewish man. The derogatory nature of the word likely stems from the fact that, according to traditional Jewish law, a person is considered Jewish only if born to a Jewish mother. Therefore, non-Jewish women—or shiksas—are seen by some as depleting the pool of available Jewish men.
That being said, Reform Judaism has softened this stance, considering the child of one Jewish parent to be Jewish if raised accordingly. Because dating and marrying outside the faith are common today, the existence of shiksas is a fact of life. Here are some tips on how you can avoid being seen as a shiksa in the worst sense of the word:
- Learn Jewish traditions and customs. Judaism is a culture rich in tradition, and the fact that many customs practiced today have endured for approximately 4,000 years lends them a certain gravitas. Learn about Shabbat (the weekly day of rest), the Jewish holidays, and the High Holy Days. Explore the Torah and its annual reading cycle. Learn about Jewish dietary laws and the Jewish calendar. Familiarize yourself with ceremonies marking rites of passage, such as the Bar Mitzvah, which acknowledges the transition from childhood to adulthood. Finally, learn about Jewish ethnic divisions, largely Ashkenazim and Sephardim, each of which has unique traditions of its own.
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Learn to say Kiddush. Kiddush is the act of sanctifying the Jewish Sabbath or a Jewish holiday by reciting blessings over kosher wine. To this day, people often ask how I learned Kiddush (which is essentially a prayer written in Hebrew), and truth be told, it took a lot of effort. I wrote my own phonetic version and practiced it phrase by phrase. Today, you can easily find phonetic versions online. Here's one, courtesy of HanefeshCommunity: Bah-rooch ah-tah ah-do-nye eh-lo-hay-noo Meh-lech hah-oh-lahm, ash-sher kihd-shah-noo bih-mitz-voh-tahv vih-tzee-vah-noo, lih-hahd-lihk nair shell Sha-bat. Kiddush will make a lot more sense to you once you hear a group of people recite it together. Sometimes Kiddush is sung, and I can't help you there!- Celebrate the aspects of Jewish culture that you admire. As in all matters, sincerity is essential. Find aspects of Jewish culture that intrigue you. Fortunately, I found much to admire within the rituals, traditions, and belief systems of Judaism—such as the strong emphasis on family values, tradition, self-reflection, justice, and charity. Do not try to adopt beliefs that do not match your own; instead, find whatever resonates with you within the faith and celebrate it.
- Learn to make a great matzo ball soup. Food has always been a central part of Jewish culture and tradition. While you are learning, pick up a few Jewish culinary staples. Find a Jewish grandmother who will show you how to make matzo ball soup the traditional way—it is a lot of work, but well worth it! (Whatever you do, use schmaltz for the matzo balls; use anything else and you will rightfully be branded a shiksa forever.) To this day, I like to call my matzo ball soup "Shiksa Soup," which I can get away with because it is delicious! Remember, it is hard to dislike someone who can make the perfect latke.
If you learn to honor the Jewish customs and culture that, as a shiksa, you are theoretically engaging with, anyone who uses that term against you is simply being a schmuck!
Avoiding the Label of "Shiksa": Understanding Jewish Traditions and Customs
Learn more about the term "shiksa" and discover how embracing Jewish traditions, customs, and culinary staples can help non-Jewish women integrate into Jewish culture with respect.
"Shiksa" is Yiddish slang for a woman who is not Jewish. It is always pejorative and is most often used in reference to a non-Jewish woman partnered with a Jewish man. The derogatory nature of the word likely stems from the fact that, according to traditional Jewish law, a person is considered Jewish only if born to a Jewish mother. Therefore, non-Jewish women—or shiksas—are seen by some as depleting the pool of available Jewish men.
That being said, Reform Judaism has softened this stance, considering the child of one Jewish parent to be Jewish if raised accordingly. Because dating and marrying outside the faith are common today, the existence of shiksas is a fact of life. Here are some tips on how you can avoid being seen as a shiksa in the worst sense of the word:
- Learn Jewish traditions and customs. Judaism is a culture rich in tradition, and the fact that many customs practiced today have endured for approximately 4,000 years lends them a certain gravitas. Learn about Shabbat (the weekly day of rest), the Jewish holidays, and the High Holy Days. Explore the Torah and its annual reading cycle. Learn about Jewish dietary laws and the Jewish calendar. Familiarize yourself with ceremonies marking rites of passage, such as the Bar Mitzvah, which acknowledges the transition from childhood to adulthood. Finally, learn about Jewish ethnic divisions, largely Ashkenazim and Sephardim, each of which has unique traditions of its own.
![shiksa]()
Learn to say Kiddush. Kiddush is the act of sanctifying the Jewish Sabbath or a Jewish holiday by reciting blessings over kosher wine. To this day, people often ask how I learned Kiddush (which is essentially a prayer written in Hebrew), and truth be told, it took a lot of effort. I wrote my own phonetic version and practiced it phrase by phrase. Today, you can easily find phonetic versions online. Here's one, courtesy of HanefeshCommunity: Bah-rooch ah-tah ah-do-nye eh-lo-hay-noo Meh-lech hah-oh-lahm, ash-sher kihd-shah-noo bih-mitz-voh-tahv vih-tzee-vah-noo, lih-hahd-lihk nair shell Sha-bat. Kiddush will make a lot more sense to you once you hear a group of people recite it together. Sometimes Kiddush is sung, and I can't help you there!- Celebrate the aspects of Jewish culture that you admire. As in all matters, sincerity is essential. Find aspects of Jewish culture that intrigue you. Fortunately, I found much to admire within the rituals, traditions, and belief systems of Judaism—such as the strong emphasis on family values, tradition, self-reflection, justice, and charity. Do not try to adopt beliefs that do not match your own; instead, find whatever resonates with you within the faith and celebrate it.
- Learn to make a great matzo ball soup. Food has always been a central part of Jewish culture and tradition. While you are learning, pick up a few Jewish culinary staples. Find a Jewish grandmother who will show you how to make matzo ball soup the traditional way—it is a lot of work, but well worth it! (Whatever you do, use schmaltz for the matzo balls; use anything else and you will rightfully be branded a shiksa forever.) To this day, I like to call my matzo ball soup "Shiksa Soup," which I can get away with because it is delicious! Remember, it is hard to dislike someone who can make the perfect latke.
If you learn to honor the Jewish customs and culture that, as a shiksa, you are theoretically engaging with, anyone who uses that term against you is simply being a schmuck!
Avoiding the Label of "Shiksa": Understanding Jewish Traditions and Customs
By Howtodotips
Learn more about the term "shiksa" and discover how embracing Jewish traditions, customs, and culinary staples can help non-Jewish women integrate into Jewish culture with respect.